Piecing Together The Past
by gdpsych
Summary: Shuichi has disappeared and only Yuki can reach him. Warning--Strong Violence, torture, and rape.
1. Chapter 1

The wonderful Murakami Maki owns Gravitation and all of it's characters. All I own are my own thoughts and imagination. I would like to give her thanks for allowing me to take extreme liberties with her creations.

For those of you with weak stomachs I do not suggest reading the following story as it does become very violent in the upcoming chapters with both torture and rape being featured, and thus the mature rating.

For those of you have read some of my previous stories I hope you will welcome me back. I have gone through a rough time in my life and am just now getting back to writing after a few year's absence. I have left one story unfinished and I hope to be able to finish it as soon as I can, once I am able to find the handwritten copy again.

**Piecing Together The Past**

**Prologue**

Yuki smiled to himself. The apartment was quiet even though he could hear the stereo softly playing a Nittle Grasper CD through the closed door of his study. He had actually begun to enjoy listening to soft music as he wrote, it was great for setting a particular mood. Well, that really depended on the type of music being played. Hard rock was definitely not an option, but most other types were all right. Depending on the type of music he was listening to it would not only set the mood but sometimes it would set the tone for the entire book.

The blond author sat back from his notebook with a loud sigh and with a deliberate stab of his long finger clicked "save". He had managed to finish this book in record time even with his sometimes annoyingly loud lover being home. After setting the document to print Yuki stood up to stretch with a groan. He must have been sitting longer than he thought. He might have a few aches and pains but the reaction of his editor, Mizuki, would be very pleased to learn how quickly he had managed to push out this final chapter.

Since he had finished the book early maybe he and his lover could afford to take a few days off and get away from all the pressures they had been under recently. Yuki was under constant pressure to finish his books and Shuichi was nearly consumed with all of his scheduled appearances and concerts. Sometimes being famous could be a total bore.

Yuki ended his stretch and stood for a moment just trying to picture what Shuichi might be doing right this moment. In his creative mind's eye he could picture his young lover stretched out on the couch working on lyrics while on his stomach, stockinged feet swaying back and forth in the air to the time of the music. Yuki's mind then drifted to the picture of Shuichi sprawled across the couch sound asleep. He could only smile at the pictures that were popping into his head.

Yuki and Shuichi had been together for five years now, and unlike most couples that tended to get into a comfortable routine after several years, he and Shuichi found their relationship was always changing. He thought this was because their jobs kept them both away from home and each other for long periods of time. Especially Shuichi who had just the day before returned home from a two month long concert tour where their time together could only be counted in hours rather than days, months, or even years like other couples.

Now Yuki's smiled turned into a sardonic chuckle at himself. He could rationalize things to himself all he wanted but he knew the truth. It wasn't really the time they spent apart that kept their relationship fresh and exciting, it was Shuichi. His young lover deserved all of the credit. The singer lived every day as if it were his very first. Everything was new to him no matter how many times he had seen or done it before. At times Shuichi even managed to make the author's jaded eyes see the world in a new light. Mostly gone were the days when he felt anger or resentment for Shuichi's behavior. As a matter of fact he loved nearly everything about the singer's behavior.

It had taken Yuki a long while to be able to admit to himself that he actually loved Shuichi and it had taken him a couple of more years to be able to admit it to Shuichi. No one ever said progress happens quickly.

Shuichi had done a great deal of growing up in the past couple of years. Yuki still thought of his as a kid because he was still overly hyperactive and probably always would be. Yet Shuichi had learned some boundaries. It really hadn't taken him long at all to learn that the less he interrupted Yuki while he was working, the faster Yuki would be able to get his work done and they would have more time to spend together. Now Shuichi rarely disturbed him while he was working. The kid would even do little things to help. Things like coming into his office quietly to bring him a fresh beer, change his dirty ashtrays, or leave sandwiches if he had to work through dinner. On those rare evenings when he found himself working really long hours Shuichi would even come in and rub and neck and shoulders all without saying a word.

Yuki found himself starting to pace back and forth in his office as he waited for the final chapter of his last book to finish printing. He just wanted to get this done so he go in and cuddle with his lover. Maybe all of this thought had made him sentimental all of sudden. Since he now remembered hearing this same Nittle Grasper track for at least the fourth time this evening he figured that Shuichi must be asleep. Not even Shuichi could stand to listen to the same CD this many times in a row. The also seemed to have some kind of sonar tuned into Yuki's printer. Whenever Shuichi would hear the printer start he would usually be in the room within seconds. The only times this didn't happen was when the kid was deeply asleep. After what seemed an eternity the author finally grabbed the moderately sized stack of papers just as last page landed on the pile and dropped the entire mess into a manila envelope addressed to his editor.

Once the chapter was sealed and ready to go Yuki peeked his blond head our of the door. He didn't see Shuichi's head sticking up over the back of the couch. Deciding that Shuichi was asleep Yuki walked quietly to the couch and looked over the back. He was surprised and shocked at what he saw. No Shuichi. He thought maybe the kid had actually went to bed for once, but a quick check of the bedrooms and baths gave him the same result—still no Shuichi!

As he was looking through the apartment Yuki began to get a weird feeling in his chest. This was totally not like Shuichi. The kid never left the apartment without letting him know first and at the very least leaving him a note. With that thought Yuki realized he hadn't even looked for a note and they had put up an eraser board by the door just for that purpose. Yuki hurried from the back bathroom to the door only to find the board was blank. The board itself seemed to laughing at him with a curved slash of wiped out chalk leftover from the last message written there.

Confusion took over at the top of Yuki's emotions as he ran his long fingers through the tussled blond mess atop his head. He tried to think if he done anything recently that would have Shuichi angry. He had been working all day, he knew that much and simply could not remember anything. Maybe the kid was angry that he had been working all day. But, even if he was mad, Shuichi would not have left without leaving a note.

Still confused Yuki walked over and turned off the stereo and went to sit on the sofa. It was possible Shuichi had forgotten to leave a note and it was also possible the kid thought he would be back well before Yuki was finished for the night. Whatever the case the kid would surely be home soon, Yuki would just have to wait. But, that nagging feeling in his chest just wouldn't go away.

Starting to feel agitated Yuki reached for the television remote hoping to able to catch at least some of the news for the day. The remote always so neatly placed on the table in front of the couch was not in it's usual spot. It was only then that Yuki began to notice the mess. There was a half-eaten sandwich on the floor, an overturned glass of milk also on the floor, and corn chips scattered everywhere. Shuichi hadn't left a mess like this in years. First no note and now this, he and Shuichi had not had any sort of fight in a while but it looked like one was coming tonight when the kid got home.

With an agitated grunt Yuki leaned over to begin cleaning up the mess, only to have his catch on a glint of gold shining up from the table. The tight feeling in his chest now began to squeeze like a vise. And, his hand was shaking as he reached out to pick up the ring. Even before he picked it up he knew it was the ring he had given Shuichi as a sign of his love. It was Shuichi's wedding ring. The gold felt cold in his hand as if Shuichi were dead to him now. Hiding under the ring Yuki finally found the note that he knew Shuichi would have written. The note was Shuichi's handwriting and the one word caused Yuki's world to spin into blackness. Written on the note was only one word--"Goodbye".

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	2. Chapter 1 Flashback

The wonderful Murakami Maki owns Gravitation and all of it's characters. All I own are my own thoughts and imagination. I would like to give her thanks for allowing me to take extreme liberties with her creations.

For those of you with weak stomachs I do not suggest reading the following story as it does become very violent in the upcoming chapters with both torture and rape being featured, and thus the mature rating.

This story will be told in a combination of flashbacks and present day action until they finally combine at the end. I will label each flashback and present day section to avoid any confusion.

Chapter 1

Flashback

Shuichi did not like going out on long tours. His band Bad Luck had been topping the charts for a couple of years now and all of the constant touring was starting to get a little old for him. What he really wanted was more time with his Yuki and he didn't like leaving him for that long. There had been a time in their relationship when he could not have trusted Yuki when he was only gone for a day. Now he fully trusted the man he had come to love more than his own life. Now he felt secure and trusted Yuki completely. Bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet, Shuichi felt he couldn't wait the few weeks until Yuki was due to come and visit him. He only hoped he could find the time to sneak back to Tokyo and surprise the man he loved beforehand.

At least this one wasn't an international tour. The band's first stop was in Kyoto where they had five sold-out concerts to do in six days before moving on to the next city. This tour was scheduled to culminate back in Tokyo with six shows scheduled in six days. Shuichi was expected to spend the last days of the tour entirely with the band and would not allowed to go home until the tour was completely finished.

The hotel NG had arranged for them in this city was a 4 Star affair, but Shuichi didn't really see the need for such extravagances since they really wouldn't be doing anything but sleeping there. There wouldn't be time for anything else. The only night they would really be done early enough to even order room service was tonight. All of their time had been filled with practices, personal appearances, interviews, and, of course, the concerts themselves. At this point in time he was no longer even sure of what city he was in.

Shuichi tried not to think about the agenda NG had planned for him and his band over the next couple of months and right now he was so tired it was hard to think about anything. He just wasn't a teenager any more and as much as he hated to admit it all of the touring was beginning to exhaust him. Bad Luck's current contract was due to up after this tour ended and if the touring schedule was not lightened for upcoming contract he was going to refuse to sign. He knew in his heart that a change of label would be good for the band and if worse come to worse he could always retire.

The singer had been thinking about retirement for a while now. If he could just sing he would be happy, even if he was just a club singer. As long as he go home every night he would be happy. When he was younger all he wanted was to be a star and now that goal was achieved, all he wanted was Yuki.

The bouncing on his toes finally ended when arrived back at his suite. As usual he was sharing the suite with Hiroshi. While he had been doing his thinking about retirement he had taken into consideration the thoughts and feelings of his fellow band mates. He didn't really care what Fujisaki thought about the matter but he did care what Hiro thought. He didn't really think Hiro would mind giving up the touring either. Just thinking about Hiro made Shuichi suppress a giggle. It was hard to believe that Hiro could actually be married and have two children of his own. Hiro never complained but Shuichi knew that he would also like to have more time at home with his family. As soon as they were settled in their room Shuichi planned on asking Hiro what he thought.

Once in the room it took Shuichi a while to get everything unpacked. NG had sent a personal assistant for himself and Hiro but he didn't like anyone else messing with his clothes, except for Yuki. He was afraid his costumes would get damaged. It was funny really since it was Yuki who caused the most damage to his clothes and he would be the one to yell the loudest when it was him repairing them.

Once everything was unpacked Shuichi walked over and tapped on the door to Hiro's room and then without waiting stuck his head in. Hiro was talking on the phone probably to Ayaka. This made Shuichi giggle again. The thought that Hiro had married Shuichi's lover's ex-fiancée was just too funny. Hiro saw him peeking in and mimicked eating. Shuichi nodded understanding and pulled the door closed. He had Hiro had known each other many years and his old friend was pretty predictable when it came to food. Shuichi took it upon himself to order for the both of them.

After a bit of digging Shuichi found the room service menu and starting bouncing again when he saw they had American-style Pizza. He and Hiro both loved Pizza. He like Pepperoni and liked everything. Shuichi called down to order large Pizzas of both types and a strawberry soda for himself and a beer for Hiro. After being told the cost he just told the restaurant to put the order on NG's tab. He was only slightly disappointed when he was told the order would take about forty-five minutes.

After a few minutes Shuichi heard the shower start up in Hiro's room and decided taking a shower wouldn't be a bad idea. After stripping off his clothes while the water heated he jumped into the hot stream of water and bounced some more as he adjusted to the temperature. The heat felt so good and immediately went to work on muscles that he didn't even realize were sore until now. He stood there until the water ran cold also enjoying the feeling of the goosebumps rising on his skin. When he was so cold he couldn't stand it anymore he finally left the shower and quickly dressed in shorts and middy shirt. By the time he got back to the sitting room Hiro was waiting on him.

"So, what did you order?" Hiro gave him a look that suggested he already knew the answer.

Shuichi gave a sheepish grin and mimicked tossing dough. "Pizza!"

"Real Pizza?" Hiro's eyebrow quirked with the question.

"Far as I can tell. It said American Style on the menu." Shuichi shrugged his shoulders as if it really matted. It didn't really since he would eat pizza any way he could get it.

"Good deal." Hiro nearly muttered the reply and Shuichi knew something else was bothering his friend and he thought he knew what it was. "Listen Hiro, I've been thinking about something and I want your opinion."

"Go ahead," Hiro finally gave him a firm look, "I'm listening."

Shuichi attempted to control his emotions but still had a slightly disgusted look on his face as he finally brought up what was bothering him. "Hiro? Are you getting tired of all the touring? You know, wouldn't you like to be spending more time with your family?"

Now the look on Hiro's face turned slightly sour. "Of course I would Shu, but I'm not thinking of leaving the band again, if that's what you're asking?"

Hiro was of course referring to Bad Luck's early days.

"No, I wasn't thinking of that. It's just that our contract is coming up and I was thinking that I wouldn't sign unless they reduced the amount of touring we had to do." Now it was Shuichi who had trouble meeting his friend's eyes. "Take this city for example. We're scheduled to do three shows in really small arenas. Why couldn't we do just one in bigger stadium?"

"Are you serious?" Hope and wonder showed in Hiro's eyes for the first time since the tour started. "I would love that, so would Ayaka and the kids. Do you really think NG will go for it?"

Shuichi could only shrug. "Won't know until we try."

The shine faded a little from Hiro's eyes, "What if they don't or worse won't?"

Shuichi stared down and started absently picking at the toe of his sock. "I was thinking of retiring." The words were nearly a whisper.

Shuichi looked up long enough to see Hiro's mouth drop open in amazement and just as he was about to comment he was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Room Service!"

Hiro gave a nervous laugh and jumped up to open the door and directed the astonished waiter to just put everything on the floor. His back was turned to Shuichi when he began speaking again. "Come on now, Shu, really," Hiro continued the conversation while completely ignoring the presence of a stranger in the room, "you, retire? This has got to be a joke, right?" Hiro's eyes turned toward him.

Still picking at his socks, Shuichi's now teary eyes met those of his friend, "No joke Hiro. I want more time at home too. It's gotten too painful every time I have to leave Yuki for so long." At those words the silence stretched between the two friends, each searching the other's eyes for some clue their true feelings.

Locked in their silent searching neither Shuichi nor Hiro noticed that the waiter had stopped his work to listen to every word. Neither did they notice the looks of adoration, lust, and horror the man was giving Shuichi. Lost in their own world neither of them saw the man's eyes go completely blank just before he stumbled out of the room.

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	3. Chapter 1 Present Day

The wonderful Murakami Maki owns Gravitation and all of it's characters. All I own are my own thoughts and imagination. I would like to give her thanks for allowing me to take extreme liberties with her creations.

All right, I warned everyone that things were going to get ugly in this story, soooo....this is the last warning the ugliness starts now.

Chapter 1

Present Day

Shuichi awoke to find himself laying on a cot in a dark room. His mind felt foggy and confused. He was having a hard time getting his thoughts to connect. The only thing he knew for sure was that he was thirsty, very thirsty. With a groan he managed to turn his head to see a glass of water on a small table next to the bed. The first coherent thought that managed to make it to the forefront of his mind was that he was in a hospital. There must have been some sort of accident or the exhaustion of all the recent touring had finally gotten to him. The last thing he could remember was drifting off to sleep on Yuki's sofa. He had been in a hospital before and from what he could see of the room and feel of the bed he was on the only place that fit was a hospital.

Settled in his mind that at least he knew where he was now and any other questions could be answered later, Shuichi lifted a weak and stiff arm and fumbled for the glass of water. His arm felt like it weighed a ton. A sudden wave of pain coming from his wrist made him gasp with pain and his head began to swim again. Once he could see straight again, Shuichi carefully raised his arm to his face. The pain began again but he was ready this time. He had to blink several times to get his wrist into focus and for the first time he began to feel real alarm at his situation. Encircling the singer's wrist was metal band, it looked like some sort of prisoner's shackle. The band and soldering job done to close the cold metal were both bright and shiny new, only the blackened area around the solder showed that the band had not just been molded.

Swallowing hard and beginning to sweat fear Shuichi then let his eyes wander to the source of his pain. Even in the darkened room he could see that his wrist had been bandaged underneath the shackle. A slight look closer told him that skin around the bandaging was raw and blistered. At the sight of of the obviously badly burnt skin he began to gray out again and only the pain of his arm landing on his chest saved him from passing out completely.

Shuichi then began to beg in a small voice as he went back to checking out his situation. "Oh, please. Oh, please, no...". the whispered words echoed over and over again as he once again raised his arm. With his eyes adjusting more and more to the dark room Shuichi could now make a chain attached to the shackle. He followed the chain with his eyes to see that it attached to some sort of bracket on the wall. Staring at the wall caused bile to rise in his throat. He had to squint in the dimness but slowly counted the number of brackets hanging on the wall. "One...two...three...four...Oh, no no NO!"

At the last almost shouted "NO!" Shuichi realized he should not be getting that loud, at least not yet. At least he knew he wasn't in a hospital now. The question was...where was he and how did he get here. But, most importantly, how was he going to get out? The panic was rising in waves and all he wanted to do was scream his lungs out. The tears he could never seem to control were now running from his eyes and making his face and neck wet. But, fear kept him silent. He didn't think he could make a noise now even if he wanted to.

He needed to focus on something and in some morbid sort of ritual he began counting the brackets on the wall over and over again. It took all of his concentration to do this and it wasn't long before he had control of his emotions again and once again begin assessing his situation. There chains attached to each of the brackets and all of them seemed to leading to different places on his body. Carefully checking his other wrist he found another shackle. It wasn't much of a leap to imagine the other two chains lead to shackles on his ankles. And, now that he thought about it, he could feel the pains from the burns there too.

"What? How?" The absolute quiet in the room was getting to him too and found the need to speak aloud if only to hear the sound of his own voice. His voice was nothing but a croak. He was so thirsty. Trying to ignore the pain he reached once again for the glass of water but chain just wasn't long enough. The tips of his fingers only brushed the side of the glass moving it slightly further away. The more he tried to stretch his arm to reach the glass the more his wrist hurt but he kept trying. By the time he finally gave up he could see blood soaking through the bandage wrapped around his wrist.

The now gnawing pain actually seemed to fully clear his head and the tears had stopped. Shuichi imagined this was because he had managed to cry out the last of the moisture in his body and he soon die of dehydration. Waiting for death, Shuichi began looking around the room itself. The light seemed to be a little brighter now. What he had, at first, mistaken for a hospital room looked exactly like a jail cell. There were bars across one of the walls where he could see a barred door hinged to the other bars. In the corner across from him was small sink and commode. At the end of the cot was a small wooden chair, and of course the cot and the bedside table. There was really nothing at all here. Nothing to distract him from his wandering thoughts. He was almost annoyed when the tears started again.

Lying back on the bed his croaky voice whispered "Think Shuichi, just think...". Shuichi couldn't remember any portion of how he had gotten here. The events of evening flashed through his head. Yuki had been working in his study and had told Shuichi that the book would be finished later that night. He had made a couple of sandwiches, one for himself and one for Yuki. He had taken in the sandwich to Yuki with a couple of beers. After that he had went back and grabbed his own sandwich, some chips, and glass of milk. He had set his dinner on the table by the sofa and walked over to put a Nittle Grasper CD in the player with the volume turned low before starting to eat himself. He couldn't remember if he had finished his sandwich, all he could remember was feeling really, really sleepy and lying down on the sofa to take a nap. There were no more memories until he woke up here. Wherever "here" was.

Shuichi now began to wonder why he wasn't still panicking and screaming for help, but at this point in time he was strangely calm. With his croaky voice he gave a feeble yells for help but with his dry throat the croaks soon turned to mere squeaks. He didn't want his throat sore too so he quickly gave that up. Tears were no flowing again and Shuichi's small pink tongue slipped out to catch the tears. The moisture was salty wonderful in his mouth.

"What's the matter Shuichi, are you thirsty?" A teasing voice suddenly filled the room. "Sing for me Shuichi. Sing for me and I'll give you water."

Shuichi jumped at the sound of a man's voice making a squacky scream escape from that dry mouth and throat. The scream was a combination of startle and pain from his wrists and ankles. His eyes jerked to the bars of the cell. He could see the shadowy form of a man standing just outside the bars. He hadn't even heard anyone approaching. Blinking the tears away again be noticed that man's face wasn't shadowed but instead covered with a black ski mask. Even through the mask he could tell the man was scowling.

"SING!" This time there was no teasing in the voice, this was a command. The word was pronounced slowly and every letter seemed to hid a threat.

"Can't." This was the only word he could get out of his dry throat and his voice croaked and squeaked with speaking it.

"Awwww, poor poor Shuichi, can't even talk." The teasing was back in the man's voice but this wasn't the friendly sort of teasing. The menace was still clear in the voice but there was also pure meaness.

The unknown man began to move and Shuichi heard a slight tinkling as man pulled a set of keys out of his pocket. Shuichi knew what this was for and really wished the mean man would stay on the outside of the cell. The click as the key turned in the lock was startlingly loud and seemed to echo a long way down the hallway where the man was standing.

Shuichi felt a spasm of absolute terror as the man entered the cell and approached the bed. But, instead of beating that he felt was coming, the man simply helped him to sit up. The stranger even held the glass while he drink, he was only allowed one sip at a time until the glass was empty. The man then got up and refilled the glass from the sink and then sat on the edge of the bed to allow Shuichi to drink a little more.

"Now sing Shuichi." This time the man's voice was completely emotionless.

Eyes wide and fear beginning to sweat out of every pore, Shuichi could only shake his head "no". The blank look in the man's eyes had stollen any voice he might have had.

"You'll soon learn to do what you're told Shu-chan." The voice was a dead and flat as the man's eyes as the stranger dressed in black. The stranger slowly began pulling back the blanket that covered Shuichi and exposed his bare chest and abdomen. The man's other hand slipped slowly down his own leg to produce a long-bladed knife. While the other rose from the blanket and up his abdomen to begin tracing lazy circles on Shuichi's chest. "I don't want to hurt you Shu-chan."

Some light seemed to return to the man's eyes as he watched his own finger tracing circles on Shuichi's chest and the teasing tone was back in the voice. "You don't mind if I call you Shu-chan do you? I've been calling you that to myself for a while now."

The carressing of his chest combined with the sight of the night caused Shuichi to shiver visibly. Almost shaking he shook his head "no" again. Almost faster than the eye could follow the knife flashed towards him. He didn't even feel anything but a quick look down showed a thin line of blood on Shuichi's chest running from nipple to nipple. Gasping Shuichi looked up only to see the eyes had gone dead and blank again.

"Now you've made me hurt you again. Never tell me no Shu-chan. Just say yes Jae-chan." The man now seemed to be thinking to himself. "Yes, I think I would like that. NOW SAY IT!"

"Y-yes, Jae-chan. I...I...would like that." Shuichi was really hoping these stuttered words were going to be enough. The tears were starting to fall again.

"Now Sing!"

Shuichi sang the first song that came into his head. A children's lullaby his mother used to sing to him.

"Sleep, little one, sleep.

The sparrows are nodding,

beneath the deep willow-trees.

The night lamp is burning.

Thy mother is watching,

Sleep, little one, sleep."

When his little song croaked to it's end Shuichi looked up to the strange man in black with wide and terrified eyes.

"Not really what I wanted Shu-chan, but it will do for now." There was disappointment is in the voice.

The man, Jae, once again reached into his pocket and this time Shuichi couldn't resist the urge to flinch away. Jae's hand was quicker and caught Shuichi's throat in a choking grasp.

"I'm just going to give you something for the pain Shu-chan." This time the voice was angry and came out through gritted teeth. "You would like that wouldn't you?"

"Yes, Jae-chan. I would like that." His voice was a squeak again but the hand began to relax on his throat. The obedient reply seemed to work.

From his pocket Jae pulled out a hypodermic needle. Shuichi couldn't help himself and began to struggle against the hand that was tightening on his throat again

"You musn't move Shu-chan, the needle might break." The new kindness in the voice shocked Shuichi into stillness and hand was removed from his throat.

Shuichi remained still as his arm was pinned to the bed. He couldn't watch but he could feel the needle break the skin and slide into his arm. Then he felt burning all the up his arm.

"What?" Shuichi managed to ask as mind started to drift again.

"Just Morphine Shu-chan. You can even have more later. As long as you keep singing."

Yuki sat fingering Shu's ring for several hours trying to figure out what he had done, what had gone wrong. Everything had been going well between them. Yuki just didn't understand and what was worse he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong with Shuichi. It was nagging feeling in the back of mind and his chest, it was almost like a toothache. It was this feeling that was keeping him together right now. If he just focus on that he could keep the anger and heartache at bay.

When he had first seen the ring and note lying on table his initial reaction was close to total devastation. The tears had come and could feel all of those old walls come slamming back down, choking him emotionally. But, his mind kept telling him that Shuichi wouldn't leave him like this. And, logically he had to think that all of Shuichi's belongings were still here. The kid hadn't even taken a change of clothes as far as Yuki could tell.

In the past whenever Shuichi would leave or get thrown out he would always go to Hiro's. Glancing at the clock Yuki noted the time as 2:30 am. Also, in the past, Yuki would have called Hiro and damn the time of day. Now Hiro had a wife and kids. Watching the seconds tick by the feeling of wrongness overcame him and at 3:00 am Yuki finally picked up the phone. Hiro's number was on auto-dial and Yuki had but to press a button. Still debating his finger hovered over the button for a couple of seconds. With mind finally made up he pressed the button. The phone rang for a long time before a grumpy sounding Hiro picked up the phone.

"Hello. And, Shuichi this had better be good. I was finally getting some sleep."

"This isn't Shuichi Hiro. This is Yuki." The author noticed his voice was trembling. Hiro had thought the call was from Shuichi. Now knowing that Shuichi couldn't possibly be at Hiro's house, Yuki asked the question. "Shuichi doesn't happen to be there, does he?"

"Yuki? Shu?" Hiro's voice still sounded confused and sleepy. "No, I haven't spoken with him since we got back from the tour. Why? What's wrong?"

Yuki explained about the note, the ring, and finding Shuichi gone.

"Did you guys fight?" It was a normal enough question coming from Hiro, but it still irritated him.

"No, things were good between Shu and I, really good. There was nothing that happened."

"All right." The sleepiness was now gone from Hiro's voice. "I'm coming over. Something must really be wrong because I know for a fact he wasn't planning on leaving you. He was even considering retiring so that he could spend more time with you. So, just hold on until I get there and we'll figure this out."

"Thank you Hiro. I'll have the coffee ready."

Feeling as confused as before Yuki wandered into the kitchen and plugged in the coffeemaker. He still had Shu's ring in his hand. He gave it a quick squeeze before slipping it onto his own pinkie finger. There it would stay until he could place it back where it belonged.

Yuki needed to make some sense of all of this. It was obvious that Shuichi was gone. Hiro had said that this wasn't a planned thing, at least as far as Hiro knew. Hiro had also said that Shu had even been planning on retiring. That was something Yuki hadn't know before now, Shu hadn't even mentioned it him. But, Shuichi had told him he wanted to have a talk once the new book was done. Yuki definitely remembered that since, for once, Shuichi had looked completely serious.

Now that he had taken the first step by calling Hiro, Yuki found he could no longer just sit down. He was filled with nervous energy. Returning to the living room he began to pace trying to think of something he could be doing right now. After covering the room several times he decided to go and look through Shuichi's things. Everything seemed to be just where it should be. Everything except Shuichi's travel bag which was still setting on the bed. Yuki grabbed the bag and brought it out into the living room. Before he could begin looking through the bag there was a knock at the door.

Yuki jumped up to Hiro in. "I'm sorry to bother you like this Hiro, but I'm just so confused and worried. I keep feeling like something is really wrong."

"I do too and that's why I came." The worry was clear on Hiro's face and guy looked terrible with dark circles under his eyes, rumpled clothes, and matted hair pulled back into a ponytail. "I think you should know that few strange things happened while we were out on tour. I don't know if they're related to Shuichi leaving." Hiro's eyes went to Shuichi's travel bag now setting on the couch. "But first, what have you found here?"

"I have the note and the ring." Yuki held up his hand to show Hiro Shuichi's ring. "There was also a mess on the floor by the couch, a half-eaten sandwich, some chips, and spilled glass of milk."

Hiro seemed to think for a minute. "You were in your office, right? Did you hear anything?"

Yuki shook is head "no". "I was in my office printing part of the time and my printer is old and kinda loud. I didn't hear anything except a Nittle Grasper CD repeating over and over again." Now Yuki stopped to think. "He didn't take anything with him either, not even his keys. I was just going to go through his travel bag before you got here. I haven't started yet."

"Can I see the note he left Yuki?" The author handed his lover's best friend the small square of paper. Hiro grimaced as he stared at the note. "Are you sure it's his handwriting?"

That one hateful work seemed to scream out at Yuki so he quickly handed it to Hiro. The guitarist took the proffered paper for a closer look at the writing. A strange emotion seemed to pass over Hiro's face before it went pale.

"Yuki, this notepaper, where is the rest of it?"

"I've never seen it before. Why?" Now Yuki was really confused. What did the notepaper have to do with anything.

"Go and look in Shu's bag. See if you can find the rest of the pad in there." Hiro was staring fixedly at the paper and waved Yuki towards the bag.

Yuki went over to the bag and picked it up but stopped before opening it. "Tell me why?"

"The stamp on the bottom of the notepad, it's from the hotel we stayed in Kyoto. The note has also been torn off from the bottom of a longer sheet of paper." The excitement was clear in Hiro's voice that thought he found something. "Just look in the bag Yuki and see if the rest of pad is in there."

Yuki opened the bag and simply dumped the entire thing onto the floor. He didn't know how Shuichi could fit so much stuff into one small bag. Throwing things to the side Yuki quickly sorted through everything. The only paper in the bag at all was a small envelope with Shuichi's name written on it and Yuki didn't recognize the handwriting. Carrying the envelope with him, Yuki walked back over to the couch and slumped down on it. "Nothing."

Hiro grimaced, "I didn't there would be but we needed to check." Hiro then came and sat next to him on the couch. A calloused hand reached out and took the envelope from Yuki's fingers. Hiro didn't really look at the envelope. "Listen Yuki. I remember this note, at least I think I do. Do you remember when I arrived I said that some weird things happened on the tour? They started while we were at that hotel in Kyoto. By the time the tour was due to move on, Shu was more than ready to go. But, before we did leave Shu stopped and wrote a message to the city on the hotel notepad. He had written 'Goodbye Kyoto'. I really do think this is the same note." Hiro handed the paper back to Yuki so that he get a closer look. Hiro traced the bottom of the note with his finger as Yuki held it. "Look where it's been torn off, right under the 'Goodbye'. There's no space at the bottom at all. The more I look at it the more I'm sure this is the same note...only the name Kyoto has been ripped off."

"Then we need to call the police!" Yuki could see it now and heart started pounding hard. His breath started coming in harsh gasps.

"Not yet Yuki, there is still no real proof he didn't just leave." Hiro's eyes began searching the room again. "Did you check for any signs of break-in?"

Yuki shook his head "no" and started feeling some shame at himself. Why didn't he think of any of this. Had he been that shellshocked that had completely lost it like that? Getting himself up from his slump on the couch he and Hiro made a quick examination of the windows and door but found nothing. This caused Yuki to sit back down in defeat. He could only watch as Hiro went to pick up the phone.

"I thought you said we shouldn't call the police yet."

Hiro shook his head. "I'm calling K. There are some other things you need to know and I want K here to help explain."

Hiro proceeded to dial the number. The time was still only 4:00 am but the phone was answered after the second ring. Even from the couch Yuki could the gruff voice of Bad Luck's manager.

"Yeah?" The greeting was curt and to the point.

"K-san, this is Nakano. Can you come over to Shindou's house, there's a problem." Yuki was surprised at the tone of Hiro's voice the guy sounded authortative and angry towards the normally volatile manager.

"Now?" K's voice sounded shocked. "What's the problem?"

"Shindou's gone."

"Shit, I was afraid of this." The manager's cursing was clear just before the phone line clicked dead.

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*Note: The song sung by Shuichi in this Chapter is a traditional Japanese lullaby roughly translated into English by me (I know the translation is probably terrible and probably lost some of the meaning). I hope you can forgive me.

Good or bad, please read and review.


	4. Chapter 2

The wonderful Murakami Maki owns Gravitation and all of it's characters. All I own are my own thoughts and imagination. I would like to give her thanks for allowing me to take extreme liberties with her creations. I just ownership of Jae/Jiro although I really wish I didn't.

From this point forward each chapter will be written in a three part format. Each Chapter will feature the flashback, Shuichi's point-of-view, and then the povs of other characters integral to the story. I am setting up the chapters this way so that the portion of the story featuring the torture, rape, etc... will always fall just after the flashback. So all of the bad parts will be in this section, the first part of the present day section. For those you who don't wish to read that part, simply skip it and continue on to the second present day section. I will mark where the section changes.

Once again the warning...the ugliness is going to continue throughout the story Poor Shuichi, I'm sorry I did this to you.

Chapter 2

Flashback

"Hiro have you seen my keys?" Shuichi called to his friend looking perplexed. "I know I left them right here on this table."

"They're not there? That's the last place I saw them. Are you sure you didn't put them in your bag?" Hiro walked over and began looking around on the floor.

"I don't think I put them in there, let me go look." Shuichi turned to go running back to his room.

"Look later Shu, we're going to be late." Hiro's frustration was beginning to show. Shuichi had already kept him waiting by insisting on wearing just the perfect outfit. "Come on, " Hiro continued, "we only have one night to celebrate and you're worried about your keys." The guitarist was joking with his friend. "You know you're always misplacing things." Hiro turned back to see the pout on his friend's face. "It's true, no use in denying it." On more look at his friend's face told Hiro that Shuichi was not taking this as a joke at all. "Sorry Shu, I was only kidding. I promise I'll help you look for them when we get back, OK?"

"Just as long as you promise," Shu was still pouting, "Yuki will kill me if I lose the keys again. He changes the locks every time I do."

Shu left the hotel room feeling down. Hiro's arm was wrapped around his shoulder. In truth Shuichi was glad to be leaving Kyoto. He had never really liked this city. It was Yuki's hometown and his father and brother still lived here. Yuki's stern father had made his displeasure with the relationship clearly felt. It wasn't just Yuki's family living here that bothered him. The tour was barely starting and there had already been several things that had gone wrong, his missing keys were just the latest on the list.

This list included things that when looked at by themselves were minor annoyances, but when added together came to equal a big headache. The first problem happened just before their first performance. Shuichi had gone into his room to change into his costume for the evening, only to find all of his clothes missing. He had ended up making something makeshift from Sugaru's outfits. His clothes had turned up the next morning in the laundry with the exception of a pair of pink suede hot pants which he never did get back.

On the following day the band only had a practice session scheduled and Hiro had been teasing him that the dark roots of his hair were showing. When they returned to the hotel room Shuichi had decided to recolor his hair. He had been using a light brown shade recently and was what he thought he had now. But, when the coloring was done he found his hair was pink again. He had ended up wasting the rest of the day at a salon having his hair stripped and recolored to the light brown shade.

Then when he was finally able to make it back to the hotel, his card wouldn't work to open the door. He had been forced to knock until he woke Hiro up and Hiro had to let him in the room. The two of them then tried Hiro's card and it wouldn't work either. They had needed to call management hand have the lock reset.

After that incident neither Shuichi nor Hiro left the room until time for their performance the following night. Things had gone pretty well the entire day with no strange incidents to note. Things went well, that is, until they arrived back from the concert. The elevator suddenly wasn't working and they had to climb the stairs up seven floors to get to their rooms when they were already exhausted. Shuichi had been so tired he had fallen on the stairs and bruised both of his knees. K had carried him the rest of the way up.

On their fifth day in Kyoto they had a full day scheduled. They would have practice in the morning, followed by a set of personal interviews, with a performance that night. Once again the day seemed to go normally until they got back to their room. Extremely tired Shu flew into his room wanting nothing more than to sleep for the next week. Instead he found he had a broken window and even worse there was a bloody dead seagull lying in the middle of his bed. Shuichi had cried his eyes out over the dead bird and ended up spending the night sleeping in Hiro's bed because the hotel didn't have any other empty rooms.

Their final day in Kyoto went relatively well. They were able to get a different room. It wasn't a suite this time but both he and Hiro were fine with the change. The concert was a success and Shuichi was feeling really upbeat for the first time since they arrived here. Then he found his keys missing. It just seemed that everything here was conspiring against him.

"Are you coming or not Shu?" Hiro's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. At least they would be leaving this cursed place tomorrow morning.

"Yuki really is going to be mad over the keys." Shu pouted at his friend again.

"Try to forget about it for a while Shu." Hiro smiled a reassurance at him. "We're supposed to be celebrating tonight. K's taking us to a club he knows about. Try to forget about it for a while. I know it's been a really rough trip for you and you need to just have some fun tonight." Hiro's grin had always been very infectious to Shuichi and it wasn't long before he was grinning back

The club K had chosen for them was a brightly lit affair which seemed to be primarily a dance club. If Shu hadn't know better he would have said that it was Hiro who had picked the club and not K. Hiro knew that Shuichi had taken a liking to dance clubs. Here he could pick up all the newest dances and moves to use on stage. Here he could also practice them with no pressure. Of course they were recognized the second they entered the doors but the patrons seemed really laid back and no one bothered them.

The second he entered the doors Shuichi was caught up in the contagious music and tried to physically drag Hiro out on to the dance floor. "Please Hiro!"

"Not yet Shu. You know I need a couple of drinks first." Hiro smiled and knuckled Shu on the chin. "Especially if I have to dance with you."

Shu stuck his tongue out at Hiro and then ran straight for the dance floor. The song that was playing was an American one with a heavy beat, Shuichi had never heard this song before but the beat was easy to follow. He was soon moving his hips in time to the music and his feet were bouncing him all across the floor. A few of the people there recognized him and gave him encouraging nods but mostly he was left alone.

It was during the second, slower song that Shuichi felt someone come up behind him and place their hands on his hips. Thinking that it was Hiro he grasped the hands with his own and continued around the floor. When the song ended Shuichi turned around laughing to see the face of a complete stranger and then blushed down to the roots of his hair.

"I...I'm sorry," Shu mumbled to the man, "I thought you were someone else.

"No man, my fault. You just dancing alone, you know." The man's eyes were glowing bright with excitement. "You're Shindou Shuichi, aren't you?" Shuichi nodded but didn't say anything else. The man didn't even seem to notice his reticence. "Wait until I tell my friends who I got to dance with! Hey, how's about I buy you a drink?" The man then grabbed his arm and started dragging him back towards the bar.

Being pulled along by a complete stranger finally pulled him out of his amazement at the man's audacity. "Ne! Gomen, Arigato. I'm here with friends." With a hard tug Shuichi finally managed to tug his arm free of the surprisingly firm grasp and ran up the stairs to the table were he had seen the sit.

"Hey Hiro!" Shuichi yelled as he approached the table, "Told you that you should have danced with me." Shuichi couldn't help his laughter. "Some dude just tried to pick me up!"

Before Hiro could even respond K was up and out of his chair. "Who?" K demanded. "Did he hassle you?" The man was reaching for his guns even before the last words were out of his mouth, fortunately for everyone K had been forced to leave his guns at the door.

Shu turned and looked about the club. "I don't see him now K. If he does show back up I'll point him out to you."

There wasn't any worries on that score. Shuichi didn't see the guy the rest of the night. He was having a really good time with all the dancing and K had even allowed him a couple of glasses of champagne to celebrate. Shuichi didn't drink much and the champagne had given him a pleasant buzz which lasted until they returned to the hotel.

Shu had started to think that things had finally settled down, that is until he stepped into their hotel room. Once inside he knew that something was terribly wrong.

"Hiro, stop." He grabbed his friend's arm to hold him back. "Look over at the table."

Hiro was slightly drunk but not drunk enough not to notice what was sitting right out in plain sight. "Your keys, what the...".

Shuichi walked over to the table and picked up the keyring as if it were a snake. Lying under the keys was a letter, the envelope was address simply to "Shuichi". Shuichi picked up the letter and his face turned pale as he read. He didn't say a word to Hiro about what the letter said, instead he stuffed it into his pocket and walked away.

"Shu? What was that?" Hiro moved as if he were going to try to pull the letter out of Shuichi's pocket.

Shu had to grab Hiro's arm to stop him. "No, don't read it. We're leaving in the morning so it really doesn't matter."

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Present Day

Shuichi (Skip if you don't to read the ugliness)

"Shu-i-chi, wake up!"

Shuichi heard his name being called but didn't want to open his eyes; he was too afraid. If he opened his eyes he would be forced to face his situation and his tormentor. He wanted to lose himself in his dreams where he was safe and there was no pain.

"Open your eyes Shu-chan, I know you're awake."

Shuichi heard the unmistakable sound of the key turning in the lock and the click as the lock opened. It sounded like a death knell. Eyes still squeezed shut he heard the creak of the metal doors opening and the second clanging of the door being closed again. Heavy footsteps made a beeline towards the bed. Shu's eyes squeezed closed even tighter and felt himself cringing back. The footsteps stopped and the bed sank a little as his captor sat next to him and a whimper escaped his lips.

"Awww, are you afraid Shu-chan? Don't be afraid I'm not going to hurt you."

Shuichi felt himself being lifted into a pair of strong arms. "You need to open your eyes now. How's the pain? Any better?" He began to shiver from the unwanted close contact. "Open your eyes now Shu-chan. You don't want to make me mad, do you? If I get mad He might come back, and he's not very nice." Shuichi's felt his head being tilted back and pair of lips were pressed against his own.

"Kiss me Shu-chan." Jae's voice was begging.

Shuichi's eyes flew open and he stifled a gasp. Gone was the black ski mask and the man leaning over him looked very much like his Yuki. He looked just the way Yuki would bending over for another kiss. Momentarily confused by sleep, the medication, fear, and the man's looks Shuichi began to respond to the kiss but his mind was screaming 'NO', this wasn't really Yuki. Before he could begin to struggle Jae broke the kiss and pulled his head up to look deep into Shuichi's eyes. A broad smile spread across his lips.

Now that he was looking more closely he could see some distinct differences between this man and his Yuki. Jae's eyes were slightly rounder than Yuki's and were a light brown, instead of gold. Also, the shape of his face and the rest of his features were a little sharper. The man's hair was the same color as Yuki's but Shuichi could tell this was dye job because Jae's eyebrows and eyelashes were a plain light brown that nearly matched the eye color. Jae's hair was even cut exactly like Yuki's.

"That was nice Shu-chan, I liked that." Jae began hugging him tighter. "I would like to do that all day, but we have other things to do now. How's the pain?"

After a few seconds he was able to find his voice. "Still hurts, pretty bad." As he spoke he felt the pain from his lips too and realized they had cracked, he didn't know if it was from the kiss or his continued thirst and voice still came out in a croak.

"Are you still thirsty?" Jae asked as he began to a pack off of his back that Shuichi had failed to notice before. Jae set the pack on the floor and began to dig inside. In a few seconds the man was back up again holding a bottle of water Shuichi could see the moisture condensed on the outside and knew the water was cold this time. His entire mouth began to ache at the site.

Jae handed him the bottle and this time he was allowed to drink on his own and he could have all that he wanted. His captor watched silently as he drank until the bottle was empty and asked in an almost fascinated voice if he was done. Shuichi only nodded that he was done.

Jae took the empty bottle and set it on the floor. "Now, I need to check your bandages."

"Jae?" Shuichi interrupted in a tentative voice, "I...I have to...well...I need to... go." He felt his face turning red as he asked the question.

Jae's face also seemed to blush when he realized what Shuichi meant. "Oh, sorry." Jae's eyes went over to the commode. "He won't let me undo the chains so you'll have to use this." Jae bent down again and this time he pulled a bucket out from under the bed.

After a bit of a struggle Shuichi managed to get himself sitting on the edge of the bed by himself but his hands just wouldn't reach where he needed them to. Jae saw the difficulty he was having and slid around on the bed behind him to help. Shuichi was blushing all the way to his toes now but he had to go too badly to complain. He had never felt so humiliated in his entire life.

"Go ahead Shu-chan, I won't watch."

Jae's warm hands on him made the task much more difficult than Shuichi thought it was going to be. Between the two of them they managed not to make too much mess of the job. When he was finished Shuichi felt exhausted and leaned back into Jae's body.

Instantly Shuichi knew had made another horrible mistake. Now he could feel Jae's hot breath scalding his neck. Jae's hands had released him in one area only to begin caressing his inner thighs. Shuichi's desperately began searching for anything to stop Jae.

"Jae, um, Jae? My bandages?"

Jae didn't respond except by running one of his arms around Shuichi's waist pulling their bodies closer. Jae made him shiver again by placing his warm lips against Shuichi's neck.

Now Shuichi began to panic and struggle. "Jae, please stop." He tried to pull away but his chains were already stretched to the limit and Jae was behind him. He had nowhere to go. He could feel the pressure of Jae's erection growing against his rear and his back. Shuichi's started to become more frantic and Jae's grip tightened.

"Don't struggle Shu-chan." Jae's voice was almost a purr. "This is going to happen, the question is...do you want him or me?"

At these words Shuichi's sense of fear and panic took complete control of him. He had been raped before. Images of night with Tachi and his so called friends flashed through his mind. But, this was somehow worse, much worse, it was more personal. Jae was treating him like a lover.

"Think if me as someone else if you have to Shu-chan." Jae's voice startled him out of his thoughts and the fear slammed down again. "I know you've seen it," Jae continued to purr, "I look like Yuki Eiri. Picture him if you need to. I can accept that, for now."

"No! Jae, I can't do this. You...you're not him!"

In his panic and not being able to think of anything else to do, Shuichi quickly slammed his head backwards. He saw a flash of light as the back of his head connected with something solid and heard a distinct cracking noise. Shuichi thought it was Jae's nose he had hear crack. Shuichi immediately froze. He could still hear Jae breathing behind him. The grip around his waist loosened and he started to try to scoot away.

"You shouldn't have done that." Jae's voice was muffled as if his nose were bleeding and clotted with blood, but it was also calm and completely without any passion. Shuichi hoped he had broken the man's nose, but he was afraid to turn around and look.

The complete lack of emotion in the man's voice told him he had done something unacceptable and his momentary sense of triumph came crashing down.

"I'm sorry Jae, I was scared." Shuichi's teeth had began to chatter and could just barely manage the words.

Jae didn't respond to his apology but he could still hear the sound of deep breathing behind him. The quiet continued for several minutes. Until Shuichi heard the sound of pants being unzipped and his spine turned to gelatin.

"He did tell you Shu-chan," Jae's voice now seemed deeper and more sure of himself, "him or me."

Shuichi's hair was roughly grabbed from behind and his head was yanked backwards. There was no time for fear or regrets now as his body was roughly slammed face first onto the bed. And, for what seemed like hours, there was only pain.

When Jae finally rose, Shuichi found he couldn't even move. His throat was sore from screaming and his eyes seemed swollen shut. He could only hope that Jae would leave now. Leave him alone again with his misery and pain. But, Jae didn't leave, not yet.

"Why did you have to interfere?" The higher pitched slightly whiny voice he had heard from Jae earlier had returned. Shuichi forced his sore eyes open to see just who Jae might be talking to.

"He broke your fucking nose asshole!" This was deeper commanding voice he had first heard from Jae and the voice of the man who had just raped him. "Someone had to take control of the situation!"

Shuichi's eyes opened wide to watch Jae pace wildly back and forth across the room. He was tearing at his own hair and rapidly shifting from periods of anger and weeping.

"You hurt him again! You promised you wouldn't hurt him again!" The higher pitched voice of Jae yelled between tears. "He'll never sing for me now!"

Jae's entire face seemed to change before he spoke again and this time in the deeper voice. "You are stupid aren't you? You want his love but fear works just as well. As long as he can still sing."

Shuichi continued to watch the Jae's arguing with each other and the sense of horror in him grew. He had know the man must be crazy, but he had never imagined this. This was beyond anything he could have imagined. His thoughts spun to the only sense of comfort he could find. 'Oh God, Yuki, help me!' Not wanting to see any more Shuichi closed his eyes again as the arguing continued in his cell. He blocked it out by continuing to repeat his plea over and over again until he finally passed out from the pain and fear.

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Present Day

Yuki and Hiro spent the time until K arrived in uncomfortable silence. Hiro made a call to Ayaka to let her know the wouldn't be home for a while. He could hear the woman yelling on the other end and demanding an explanation. Listening to the call Yuki was extremely glad he hadn't gotten stuck married to the girl.

It took K about an hour to arrive so to kill some time Hiro went out and bought breakfast. When the blond manager finally knocked on the door Yuki and Hiro had nearly finished eating. K was carrying a black bag when he arrived. Yuki could only stare at him with bleary eyes from his overwork, worry, and lack of sleep. But, he got no sympathy from K. Before he could even get out a greeting, K rounded on him shouting.

"You were supposed to protect him!" K was nose to nose with him as the words were flung in his face.

Yuki felt his hackles rise. "From what exactly?" The golden eyes were giving off sparks as he faced the man squarely demanding his own answers. "Will someone please tell me what's going on here? All I know is that my Shu's gone. Nakano over there," Yuki paused to take a breath and point to Hiro, "keeps dropping cryptic hints that are scaring the hell out of me. Then he clammed up and wouldn't say anything except we needed to call you." Yuki felt all his rage draining out of him. He was just too tired and stressed to stay angry for long. His energy seemed to flee with his anger as he sank back down on the couch. He buried his head in his hands and began to softly sob.

K stole a glance at Hiro before going to sit next to Yuki. "I take it Shindou didn't tell you?"

Yuki raised glistening eyes to meet K's icy blue orbs. "Tell me what exactly? I just want someone to tell me something."

"Shindou was being stalked." The words came out in a rush. "Not your garden variety stalker either. The man, and I believe it is a man, did some really dangerous things. These things were not only dangerous for Shindou but for himself." K grabbed the bag that had been hanging on his shoulder and dumped the contents onto the floor. "After the first letter, I started intercepting all of these."

K started sifting through the mess on the floor. I looked to Yuki like there were mostly notes and letters. Mixed in with the mess were also rings, other pieces of jewelry, flowers, and even a torn up photo of himself. Sitting on the table in front of the couch was the letter he had found in Shu's bag. Yuki picked it up and started to toss it in with the rest. K saw what he was had and grabbed it out of his hand.

"Where did you get this?" The question sounded almost like an accusation as he tore the letter open.

"It was in his travel bag."

Before reading the contents K turned to Hiro. "Was this the first one?"

Hiro only shrugged. "It could have been but I don't think so. I can't really be sure. They were all pretty much alike. I did see Shu stuff it into his bag unopened so I think he probably knew what it was. I would guess he had gotten some before this one."

Still holding the letter K turned back to Yuki. "Do you mind?"

Yuki was amazed the usually domineering manager was asking permission.

"Dearest Shuichi," K began reading aloud

"I'm not going to tell you I'm your biggest fan because there are plenty out there like me. Where I am different is how I feel about you. I would never make you choose. I would put everything on hold for you. I just want hear you sing. We're not much different, me and him. I could even be him if you wanted it.

Don't worry, we'll meet soon."

Inside of the envelope was another picture of Yuki which had been torn up this time. K gave the picture and glance and tossed it to Yuki. The picture was wallet-sized and obviously taken by a professional. Looking closely at the picture Yuki's heart gave a lurch.

"I don't remember..." The confusion was clear on Yuki's face and in his voice.

"K, this isn't me!"

K grabbed the picture from him looking between it and Yuki, examining both closely. "I'll be damned." Excited now K turned to Hiro. "Check all the other photos. Sort out which ones are Yuki from the others.."

Needing to be doing something Yuki started to get down on the floor to help Hiro but K stopped him.

"No Yuki, I need for you to tell me exactly what you found this evening."

Yuki related everything that happened since Shuichi had gotten home and showed him what he had found when he came out of his study. K agreed with Hiro that a half-eaten sandwich and spilled glass of milk did not add up to a struggle taking place. K began looking around the room for any other sort of clue while continuing to question Yuki.

"You said he was on the couch?"

"I think he was, I can't really be sure."

"Then get your butt up. Let's see if we can find anything else." K commanded in a tone that even Yuki couldn't disobey and was on his feet in less than a second and staring at K as if he didn't even know quite what had happened. K wasn't finished yet though. "Get down on the floor and look under the couch. Anything you find, no matter how small, might give us a clue."

Yuki got on knees with a groan. He couldn't believe he doing this so easily on someone else's orders. Crawling on his hands and knees he began his examination while started tossing off the couch cushions.

"Shit," K cursed after throwing off just the first cushion.

Yuki looked up to see a small white pad stuck to the leather back of the sofa right where the cushions met. K stopped to pull a pair of latex gloves out of his pocket and slide them over his hands.

"Do you always carry those with you?" Yuki asked in amazement.

K only gave a smirk as an answer and leaned over to pull the pad free of the cushion. He then brought the pad close to his nose and sniffed deeply several times.

"It looks like Shindou might have been drugged, injection." K announced with a satisfied smirk.

"What the hell is that K?" Yuki asked.

"Alcohol prep. They're used to clean an injection site before medication is given. Alcohol evaporates very rapidly, but this pad still has the smell. It's faint but it's there. Probably being caught between the sofa back and the cushion preserved some of the scent."

"We have to call the police now K." Yuki's eyes were pleading. "Isn't this enough?"

"No, not yet. He's an adult Yuki. He left a note in his own handwriting. There are no signs of forced entry. They are still just going to treat this as a missing person case. That also means they aren't going to do anything for at least forty-eight hours. And Yuki, unless Shindou is very careful, I don't think he's going to be able to last forty-eight hours with this guy."

"Why K?" Yuki reached out an unsteady hand to grab the manager's arm. "The letter sounded like he was in-love with Shu. He is even trying to, no, he does look like me. Surely he wouldn't hurt him?"

"Yuki you have only read the one letter. Not even Shindou has seen all of these. Hiro and I started intercepting them. I suppose that makes some of this our fault. After Kyoto and Okinawa, as far as I know, Shindou didn't even know anything about it." K pulled his arm free from Yuki's and his hand slipped down to caress his gun. "I'm afraid Shindou never took it seriously. I warned him that he needed to tell you. I can see now that he didn't."

Yuki blushed. "There wasn't time. When he got home we hadn't seen each other in a while and we really didn't do much talking." The blush faded and Yuki once again faced K squarely. "I do need to tell you that didn't try to talk to me about it either. The next morning he did mention that there was something he wanted to talk to me about but he was willing to wait. He didn't act like it was something that needed to be done right then. And K, it's been a long time since I've locked him out of my study. He is always free to come in and talk."

K nodded, "All right Yuki. I'm sorry I yelled at you." K then turned back to Hiro. "Did you find anything?"

"To me it appears that all of the torn photos are the ones of Yuki. The whole ones are of the impostor." Yuki could tell by Hiro's expression that he something else important to say. "K do you remember the night at the club in Kyoto?" The manager nodded that he did. "Shu said a guy tried to pick him up that night. I've been thinking about that a lot. Shu said the actually grabbed him. The man in these pictures kind of fits the description of the guy in the bar too. Except Shu said the guy in the bar had long, braided black hair and was wearing goth-type make-up." Hiro rocked back on his heels thinking. "And K, I don't think I even told you about the keys. I had forgotten until now. Our last night in Kyoto Shu's keys disappeared. They turned up when we got back from the club. That was also when we found that letter Yuki had. We were at the that club for several hours and the guy left right after approaching Shu. At least Shu never saw him again that night."

K was nodding. "He would have had the time then. A lot of locksmith's work on a twenty-four hour schedule and you can get keys copied any time."

This was all well and good and it did explain why there was no forced entry but Yuki wanted to know just what the stalker had been telling Shuichi. "K?" Yuki interrupted, "Can I see the last letter you have?"

"No!" K turned to Yuki. This time his face showed not anger but fear. "It won't help us now Yuki and it will only scare you more. But, I will tell you that the letters got progressively worse as time went on. Sometimes it seemed as if two different people were writing them."

"He's going to kill him, isn't he K?"

Both K's and Hiro's heads snapped around to look at Yuki now. The author was sitting with his head on his knees and shivering while huddled on the floor. Hiro gave K a grim glance and moved to put his arms around Yuki. Yuki didn't move into Hiro's embrace he just continued to shiver and look miserable.

"What can we do then?" Yuki managed to stammer out. "I can't just sit around and wait you might as well just go ahead and shoot me rather than making me wait and do nothing."

"OK Yuki." K came and sat on the floor next to him. "Let's go over what we know. First, unless it's a disguise, the guy looks like you. Second, the guy has some medical knowledge. Third, this is just a guess mind you, I think the guy was working at the hotel."

"That gives me some ideas, but it still doesn't tell me exactly what we're going to do."

K seemed to think for a moment. "Well...this all started at that hotel in Kyoto. Most of the personal contact happened there. It's obvious to me Yuki that you and I are going to Kyoto."

"You're not going without me!" Hiro shouted angrily.

This time it was Yuki's turn to respond. "You have been more help than you can ever know Hiro. If it weren't for you...I'd...I'd...well, let's just say I don't want to live without him. You gave me cause to believe. That's why I can't let you go with us."

Hiro yanked his arm from around Yuki's shoulders. "Why the hell not? Shu is my friend, my best friend. I've always been there for him." Hiro was shouting and his face was getting redder by the minute.

"Hiroshi, stop please. I know you want to help and I'm not trying to shut you out. You heard K as well as I did. The guy is dangerous. You have to worry about Ayaka and your kids." Yuki finally looked Hiro in his eyes. "We will probably still need your help. I want you to go home and make a list of everything you remember, no matter how insignificant it seemed at the time. You were with him almost constantly, weren't you?"

"Almost. Towards the end of the tour K had Shu move into his room."

Yuki smiled at Hiro almost wistfully. "This is stupid, especially at a time like this, you don't know how jealous that makes me." Yuki shook his head to clear his thoughts. "Just make the list Hiro and don't forget any details."

Hiro gave Yuki a sharp look. "You know that first thing you said about being jealous? That really surprises me. I never thought you really loved him."

"Stop it you two." K shouted. "Hiro, go home but remember to call us if you have anything. I promise we'll keep you informed. Yuki get your bag packed, we're going to Kyoto."

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